Bodytribe

I’m not Tumblr proficient so I’ve let some questions in my Tumblr inbox slip through the cracks (I forgot I had a Tumblr inbox actually). So apologies for late answers, but here’s my reply to a handful of them…

Q: Did it hurt getting analyzed by Tommy?

A: This is in reference to the post about Tommy Kono’s visit I’m gathering, because Tommy Hilfiger hasn’t analyzed me for years and Tommy Lee and I haven’t spoken since I was a wee lad.

Yes it hurt.

Q: hey body tribe I am an avid fitness devout so what I need from you is a very simple glute exercise that I can do from home when I can’t make to the fitness center please help me with my insecurity.

First, read the answer to the last question below for some basics on the protocol of asking questions.

Second, helping with your insecurities would take more time and Tumblr space than I have. That’s a tall order.

But a ‘glute’ exercise?  Somethun for the ass, eh? Them ass cheeks are good for hip extension (and external rotation, for you biomechanic geeks) so you’re looking for a hip movement, something that creates extension in the ol’ hip joint. From bodyweight bridges to lunges to KB swings and the classic squat, there are a ton of options. Gathering a collection of hip movements is far from the hard part. In fact, the answer we give to any bodypart question is always to follow the three basics: train hard, eat well, rest hard.  

The bigger question is discovering your purpose. Ya want ‘em perky or ya want ‘em strong?  Physiologically it doesn’t matter, the movements and intensity are still the same, but the psychology behind the motivation means a great deal. That’s dealing with the insecurity.

Q: [this isn’t so much a question as a critique, which I will answer anyway] In a recent post you raised some concerns about the current attention being paid to bodyweight training. I agree it’s misleading for ‘fitness gurus’ to label their unoriginal bodyweight workouts as ‘groundbreaking’, but I think this is one small issue that shouldn’t detract from the benefits of bodyweight training as an effective and accessible training concept - a free, ‘open-source’ method that challenges the commercialization of fitness. People don’t need to pay, just get out there and train!

A: I appreciate the spirit. But what you call ‘one small issue’ isn’t, as history dictates. It does detract from the purity of training.  Hyperbole is rarely truth. As much as we like to preach about the freedom, financially and otherwise, of movement, we’re up against a juggernaut of nonsense, and if we truly care about educating our tribes, then we need to sometimes match the volume of the bullshit in our own little ways.

I call bullshit when folks preach volume over technique. I call bullshit when a trainer can’t think beyond a handful of redundant movement patterns. A trained monkey can make a workout hard, but only a trainer above the bullshit can make a workout good.

Q: Hey, what exercise regimes would you recommend for a completely embarrassingly unfit 18-year old girl? I’m looking to get back into fitness but don’t really know how to. Hope you can help. Also I’m loving the ”this is a bullshit-free zone!’ Thanks.

A: Respect is a big part of the Tribal process… respect for learning, respect for teaching, respect for wisdom, respect for ability. I greatly appreciate the quest that your are on, and am humbled when someone thinks whatever I have to say might be important enough to listen to. As someone who you deem appropriate to gather information from, I’m going to impart a lesson about respect that might increase the bounty of your quest in the future. For a student, respect is earned.  Heck, the right to information might be universal, but there is no right to be considered a serious student unless there is shown tenacious dedication and that word we keep throwing around here, r-e-s-p-e-c-t. A student must approach the journey for learning with humility and prove themselves worthy of the task by respecting the teacher and the information.

What the heck am I talking about? Here’s the actual question I received unedited:

Hey, what excersise regimes would you recommend for a compleatly embarasingly unfit 18 year old girl? Im looking to get back into fitness but dont really know how too, hope you can help also im loving the ’ this is a bullshit-free zone!’ thanks (:

This was an anonymous question thrown my way, which is par for the course on this world wide web. Now I’d be happy to answer this question… it is a huge question that begs a dialog. But not here and now. My email is chip@bodytribe.com. But there is a caveat. I will show you the respect of my years of experience by helping you with your journey of physical, and therefore metaphysical, improvement, if you show me, this aging wise man, a bit of respect by humoring the traditionalist in me and stop mangling our fucking language. The rules of the written word are not there to be an inconvenience, they are there to ensure clear communication between the parties involved.  The truly brilliant get creative within these rules, but folks who just don’t give a shit slaughter it out of laziness and (here it comes) disrespect.

There’s my offer.  A bunch of free advice in exchange for a properly worded and grammatically accurate request. I do hope to hear from you again.  I won’t discount your sincerity, but I do deserve proper sentence structure.